Patterns of Righteousness: Strengthen Home and Family

Last month Scott spoke in church with the topic, "Patterns of Righteousness" This went right along with Jackson's, Will's and my talk that were giver the same morning. Here is Scott's. It is so well written, so inspiring and worth the read. I took notes as he spoke. He brings up a lot of great ideas and things for me to work on. Enjoy!

I appreciate so much that has been shared already this morning, because it supports my talk so well.

Jackson taught us about the importance of Family Rules and Mottos that challenge us to be better individuals.

Will talked about the importance of following in our Savior’s footsteps by being a Good Example to others.

Lori introduced importance of teaching our children “patterns of righteousness” and how these patterns help us Strengthen Home and Family.  It is this topic that I would like to expand upon further.

In Doctrine & Covenants 88: 119 we are told by the Lord to establish a “house of prayer, a house of fasting, a house of faith, a house of learning, a house of glory, a house of order, a house of God.”

And in the Church Handbook of Instruction – Book 2, Section 1.4, it teaches us about the balance that is sought between the organization and teachings of the church and the structure of the family:

In the teachings and practices of the restored gospel, the family and the Church help and strengthen each other. To qualify for the blessings of eternal life, families need to learn the doctrines and receive the priesthood ordinances that are available only through the Church. To be a strong and vital organization, the Church needs righteous families.

God has revealed a pattern of spiritual progress for individuals and families through ordinances, teaching, programs, and activities that are home centered and Church supported. Church organizations and programs exist to bless individuals and families and are not ends in themselves. Priesthood and auxiliary leaders and teachers seek to assist parents, not to supersede or replace them.

Elder Neil L. Anderson in an Education Week Devotion that he gave at BYU-Idaho in August of 2008, shared the following thoughts about “patterns of righteousness”.

I want to describe the powerful patterns of righteousness that we bring to our children, our grandchildren, and to others in our family.  To better describe these patterns of righteousness, let me ask you a rather unusual question: “At your funeral (which we hope is far into the future), what will be the qualities of your life that will have marked your posterity?”  I am not referring to general statements of your goodness.  We will expect these.  Rather, what are the poignant, powerful, patterns of righteousness that have marked the soul of those who have followed you?

To establish a pattern of righteousness requires more than good feelings for a gospel principle.  It requires what we will call the three “P’s”: Passion, persistence, and patience, applied consistently over an extended period of time, creating a righteous pattern that is embedded in the very spiritual DNA of our posterity.

What are your patterns of righteousness? Let me list a few:

Loving God

Prayer (Lori)

Humility

Searching the scriptures (Lori)

Kindness (Jackson)

Devotion to Family

Caring for the less fortunate

Family Home Evening

Fasting

Reverence

Paying tithing

Honesty with our fellow men

Mothers raising children (Lori)

Service to others (Jackson)

Sharing the gospel

Going to Church

Work (Will)

Heeding the promptings of the Holy Ghost

Loyalty to the Prophets of God

Exercising the priesthood

And, there are many more.

From my message today I would ask you to remember these nine words, “Powerful patterns of righteousness require passion, persistence, and patience.”

The three “patterns of righteousness” that I would like to share with you today are Faith, Agency and the Holy Ghost.  As I share with you our philosophies regarding these three “patterns of righteousness”, I hope to also express how we approach these patterns in the context of the three “P’s” that Elder Anderson discussed in his devotion; passion, persistence, and patience.

Faith

I remember as a high school youth in Seminary studying the Old Testament, just like we are studying this year in Sunday School.  And in that same year, a movie had just come out called “Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade”.  I remember watching this movie and being so enamored with the hero deciphering clues on his quest to find the Holy Grail.  One part in particular that impressed me was the point in the movie where Indiana Jones is expected to traverse this wide chasm.  He is told in his journal that “Only in the leap from the lion's head will he prove his worth."  This meant that he had to make a “leap of faith” in order to pass this trial.

I remember wishing that there were more stories like that found in the scriptures.  Certainly if the Lord wanted us to understand such an important principle of the Gospel, he would have some cool scriptural stories that would help me to better appreciate and understand the principle of faith.  Well, that the very next week in Seminary class, our teacher shared with us the story in Joshua 1 of the crossing of the Ark of Covenant in the River Jordan.  In this story there were individuals, that would bear the Ark of the Covenant, being told by the Prophet Joshua that the soles of their feet had to touch the River Jordan before they would find that they were standing upon solid ground.  We are talking about a mighty river that could have easily washed them all away.  What a tremendous “leap of faith”!  They no longer had the luxury of seeing the way mapped out before them like with the parting of the Red Sea by Moses.  At this point in their spiritual maturity, the Lord was expecting them to “step” without being able to see the outcome ahead of time.

And then I remembered the next year, I heard my absolute favorite story from the New Testament taught in Seminary.  The story about Peter walking on the water with Christ as found in Matthew 14.  Here was a disciple of Christ whose faith was growing and had prepared him to experience an amazing miracle.  He tells the Lord that if it is indeed Him, then by His simple invitation Peter could join him on the water.  The Lord invites him to walk out to him and Peter does indeed walk on the water.  However, as the water starts to lap at his ankles and legs, and the reality of what he is doing starts to impress on his mortal mind the impossibility of the feat, Peter begins to fear.  During this moment of fear, he begins to sink and is subsequently rescued by the Lord.  But the greatest principle taught in this lesson is that it is the faith of Peter that allows him to walk on water.  It is not the Lord’s faith and power that facilitated the miracle, or else it would not have failed when Peter feared.  There is great power in the “pattern of righteousness” that is Faith, and our children need to understand this.  And with that, they also need to understand the passion with which we believe this.  Do we really believe that Faith can move mountains?  The Lord tells us that it can.  Do we really believe that Faith can allow us to behold the finger of the Lord, and subsequently His whole body, as it did with the Brother of Jared?  And if we do believe these things, do our children understand the level of passion to which we believe in this First Principle of the Gospel.  If they don’t, then they need to.

Agency

When I first became a parent, I wanted to teach my children everything that they needed to do to become like me.  But I wanted to do it by dictating the choices that my children made to them.  As a father, couldn’t I just command it to be a certain way and they had to obey.  Then they would never deter from the path, and they would enjoy all of the blessings that they could obtain.

Thanks to a very loving and far smarter partner in this parenting pursuit, my wife quickly helped me to see that I was simply seeking the role of Lucifer in the lives of our children.  I wanted to take away their free agency, but get them to the exaltation that I perceived to be so important in the lives of my children.  My wife taught me that having free agency didn’t mean that they had to have a full menu of choices, but they did need a choice.  She suggested that our children could choose when they went to bed each night.  I thought this was ridiculous, because who would choose to go to bed early.  Here is how my wife would structure the choices, however.  Would you like to go to bed NOW or in 5 MINUTES?  Wouldn’t you know that our children ALWAYS chose to go to bed in 5 minutes.  Shocking, right?  But do you know how much easier it was for us to put our children to bed just 5 minutes later.  Why do you suppose it was so easy?  Because they felt that they had participated in the decision and they were not doing something that they were simply told to do.

Other examples of where our children are able to exercise their agency.  My wife will typically give them a choice of outfits to wear when they are younger.  My wife structures their choices to be two adorable and cute outfits that she would be happy to see them in, either way.  But the toddlers feel that they get to have more choice in the matter of what they wear.  As they get older, they get greater freedom in their agency by picking out their outfit from the full array of clothing that we have purchased for them.  But still, these are “patterns of righteousness” that we are inviting them to practice each day.

And here is where the 2^nd P that Elder Anderson talked about comes into play; persistence.  We have to be persistent in our use of the tool of agency.  There might be times when our children resist the choice that they made.  Now that 5 minutes has come and gone, they will now ask for another 5 minutes.  Sure it might be easier to not have to deal with the “gnashing of teeth and the kicking against the pricks”, but we need to help them to stand firm in the decisions that they have made.  There might also be times that we want to swoop in and save them from the dire consequences of their decisions.  Sure, it would make their lives easier if we did their dishes for them so that they can go out with friends to that special event that they have waited weeks to attend.  But I promise you, that it is the hard lessons that often are learned at a deeper level.  I am sure, that on the same level, our Heavenly Father would love to save us from the mortality of our decisions too.  But he doesn’t, and likewise, our children need to learn that there are consequences, both good and bad, that come with the practicing of our free agency.

Holy Ghost

How amazing is the Holy Ghost?  One of my favorite Scripture Mastery scriptures is found in John 14: 26.  In this chapter, the Lord is teaching his Apostles in the Upper Room.  He has just finished washing and anointing their feet, and begins again to teach them.  He says, “But the Comforter, which is the Holy Ghost, whom the Father will send in my name, he shall teach you all things, and bring all things to your remembrance, whatsoever I have said unto you.”  So is the Holy Ghost going to teach us just a few things?  No, he will teach us ALL things!  Is he going to help us to remember a couple of things?  NOPE.  He will bring ALL things to our remembrance.  Isn’t that amazing?  I know we have yearned for this many times right before a tough test at school.  “Please Heavenly Father.  If you will help me do well on this test, I won’t hit my brothers anymore, and I will read my scriptures every day….”

But this is exactly what the Holy Ghost will do!  But this can only happen if we are living a life that allows him to remain with us as a constant companion.  I am sure that we teach our children that once they are baptized, they are able to receive the Gift of the Holy Ghost.  But this is a Gift that is conditioned upon our continual worthiness and upon the sanctification of our vessels.

And here is the great principle of this “pattern of righteousness” that we need to teach to our children.  We are going to make mistakes and do things that are going to drive the Holy Ghost out of our lives.  That is the natural man, and while it is the enemy of God, it is also an important aspect of who we are as mortal souls.  Since the Holy Ghost cannot abide an unclean tabernacle, it must leave.  But the amazing thing about the Holy Ghost is that it also has an ability to sanctify our vessels and make them clean again.  As we make changes in our lives to repent of our mistakes through the Atonement of Jesus Christ, we are able to receive a sanctification of our bodies by the Gift and Power of the Holy Ghost, even unto a renewing of our bodies (as spoken of in the 84^th section of the Doctrine & Covenants).  Our children need to understand this important principle because it is the essence of our mortal life here on Earth.

And I think that this is where the 3^rd P that Elder Anderson taught us about has a tremendous role; patience.  We need to exercise patience in the application of this principle in our lives and in our teaching with our children.  We need to help them understand that patience has to be exercised in the use of the Holy Ghost in their life.  Sure, we might want an answer to our prayers that very moment when we first ask for it, but the answer may not come for days, weeks, months or years.  It is only as we patiently listen for the promptings of the Spirit, that we will be able to discern its directions when it does come.  This same patience must be endured during the sanctification stage as well.  Depending on the degree of sin that drove the Holy Ghost away, the Spirit may not be able to simply return immediately following the statement “I am sorry”.  Instead, it may very well be a constant striving that occurs over the course of many days, weeks or months that will allow the proper sanctification of our souls and the full return of the Gift and Power of the Holy Ghost.

Jackson's and Will's Talks

When we were all asked to speak in church Jackson and Will were not worried or nervous at all. Several days before the day they were suppose to speak, they wrote out in bullet points what they wanted to share and talk about. Scott and I went over it with them, tweaking a little here and a little there. But, 90% of what they spoke on was from them. I am very proud of how well their talks were written and how well they were delivered. The spoke slowly, enunciating words carefully, looking up the the audience often and maintained good volume and pace.

Jackson's Talk:

Good morning Brothers and Sisters. For those of you who don’t know me, my name is Jackson Thompson.  Today I will be speaking about how to “Strengthen Home and Family” through Family Rules and Mottos.

In our family, we have a couple of important rules, mottos or mantras.  The first one is what we call the “Number 1 Rule”.  Simply put, it says “Don’t embarrass Mom.”  This is such an important rule for us to remember, because it has a lot of different ways that it reminds us about our behavior.  It is not that much different from the saying “Return With Honor” and could probably very easily be changed to say “Don’t Embarrass Heavenly Father.”  When we take a moment before acting and consider the consequences that the action has and whether or not it might bring embarrassment to our Mom; this gives us a good way of deciding if we should do it or not.

My mom told us many years ago that our new family motto was “Brother’s First”.  To me this motto means that in any situation that we are in, we need to remember to put our brothers first.  For example, there might be a time when I really want to hang out with some friends, but one of my brothers has a football or lacrosse game.  I will often skip what I am doing with my friends so I can go to the game and try to support them.

Another way that I put my brothers first is when I am asked to babysit.  I could easily just sit and play on the computer or watch TV and ignore them.  I mean, as long as nobody dies on my watch, I think that I will have done a pretty good job of babysitting.  But when I apply this motto, it reminds me that I need to place their needs and wants ahead of my own.  So instead of thinking of myself, I think about what they might want to do.  I play games with them, dress up with them and act out different stories or movies.  It is really fun to see them having a good time.  I know when I put my brothers first I am showing them service and love and it makes me feel good after.

I am thankful for my mom and dad and all the things they keep teaching me to be a better brother and person.  In closing, I would like to bear my testimony. [BEAR TESTIMONY] In the name of Jesus Christ, Amen.

Will's Talk:

Good morning Brothers and Sisters. For those of you who don’t know me, my name is Will Thompson.  I am the oldest son in the Thompson family. Today I will be speaking about how to “Strengthen Home and Family” through Setting a Good Example.

Being the oldest in the family, I think that it is my number one job to be a good example to my younger brothers.  They look up to me and will often do things that they see me do because they want to be just like me.  It is the same thing that we all do with OUR Older Brother, Jesus Christ.  He was the greatest example of the things that we should say and do on this Earth.

The ways that I think I can be a good example to my brothers is through obedience, attitude, and hard work.

With the principle of obedience, I think it is important for my brothers to see me being obedient to the rules of the house and to the rules and commandments of the Gospel.  In D&C 82:10, it says “I, the Lord, am bound when ye do what I say; but when ye do not what I say, ye have no promise.”  This Scripture Mastery scripture teaches us that it is through obedience to the commandments that we are given great blessings and the Lord HAS to give them to us because he is bound.  In our home, the same principle applies.  My parents want to give us stuff and do nice things for us, but they expect us to be obedient and respectful.  If we don’t do these things, then we cannot expect the blessings that come.  If my brothers see me being obedient and showing respect, then they will want to do the same.

However, it is not just enough to obey and do the right thing.  It is also important to do it with the right attitude.  There is a big difference between doing what we are supposed to do with a bad attitude and doing it with a GOOD attitude.  I can do the dishes each night only after I am reminded 100 times and then throw the dishes around because I am mad that I have to do them.  Or, I can do the dishes without being asked, with a smile on my face and understand that we all have important jobs to do in the family. My brothers watch my reaction and response to various situations, so it is important for me to show them that we need to do things with a good attitude.

Finally, it is important for me to show my brothers a good example by working hard.  In our family, we have another motto and it is “We Do Hard Things”.  As a family, my mom wanted us to remember that in our family we don’t give up just because something gets hard.  Often times, we do things because they ARE hard and it is what is expected of us.  Being the oldest in the family, most of the hard work and chores get allocated to me because I am the oldest.  It is important for my brothers to see that I am willing to do these hard things just as much as they are, if not more.  As the oldest, it was recently my opportunity to be the first one to get a “real job”.  I am thankful to Ira Ashton for giving me the opportunity to work for The Lawn Guys.  I could have just as easily have chosen to do an easy job for my first job and worked in an air conditioned space making shaved ices.  But I chose a hard job because I knew that it fit my family’s motto.

President Ezra Taft Benson shared the following quote as part of his message to full-time missionaries shared in September 1990 Ensign.  

He said:

“I have often said that one of the greatest secrets of missionary work is work! If a missionary works, he will get the Spirit; if he gets the Spirit, he will teach by the Spirit; and if he teaches by the Spirit, he will touch the hearts of the people and he will be happy. Work, work, work—there is no satisfactory substitute, especially in missionary work.”

I am thankful for my mom and dad and all the things they teach me to be a better brother and person.  I know that I am able to set a good example to my brothers, because my parents have set a good example for me.  In closing, I would like to bear my testimony. [BEAR TESTIMONY]  In the name of Jesus Christ, Amen.

Strengthening Home and Family

A three weeks ago a few members of my family were asked to speak in church with the topic, "Ways we can strengthen home and family". Here is my talk. I hope some of the ideas will help inspire you and your family!

My talk today is on “Strengthening Home and Family”. This topic is so important that it has its own section dedicated to it in the Church Handbook of Instructions. We are taught in the Family Proclamation that all of our endeavors in this life are “designed to maintain and strengthen the family as the fundamental unit of society.” The Proclamation also says, “The family is central to the Creator’s plan for the eternal destiny of His children”.

 In the For the Strength of Youth pamphlet, we are taught that “being part of a family is a great blessing. … Not all families are the same, but each is important in Heavenly Father’s plan”. 

At the same time, we need to remember that eternal families are made up of individuals. So it is up to us as parents to establish and adapt “patterns of righteousness” in our families. The Lord is depending on us to assist Him in the exaltation of our eternal families. 

In a General Conference talk given in April, 1991, Sister Janette C. Hales (then 2nd Counselor in the Young Women General Presidency) taught about these “patterns of righteousness”: 
Patterns are meant to be repeated. A pattern of righteousness is worthy of duplication… When we establish a pattern of righteousness in our lives, we commit to our Heavenly Father to do all in our power to help others reproduce this pattern in their lives. This can happen over and over until, as it says in Isaiah, “the inhabitants of the world will learn righteousness.” (Isa. 26:9.) 

So how are we going to do this as parents? I am going to focus on a few “patterns of righteousness” that I have found important in our personal family’s progression. And my husband, Scott, will talk about a few others during his talk. 

PRAYER
The first “pattern of righteousness” that I would like to discuss is prayer. Seeking the help of the Lord daily through prayer will bring great blessings to your family. Families need different things at different times. Staying close to the Lord, through personal and family prayers, allows the Spirit to direct us in our efforts to parent these spirit children of our Father in Heaven. 

To help my boys learn this pattern of righteousness, we have them offer prayers whenever and wherever we can. Of course, there are the normal opportunities to give prayers at mealtimes; and in our family, no one is exempt from the opportunity to pray regardless of age. Often, the older boys assist the younger brothers with their prayers whenever they get to a sticking point. While standard phrases will often creep into these prayers, it is important to understand that our children are attempting to “model” the prayers that they are hearing offered by others. As they spiritually mature, they will seek to avoid the vain repetitions and will attempt to put greater thought into the words that are being offered in their prayers. 

Another important thing to remember in our attempt to teach our children about prayers is to never be critical of the things that our children offer during their prayers. As we are taught in 1 Samuel 16:7, “The Lord looketh upon the heart” and so he already understands the intent behind the prayer; even if the words do not match. If we were to criticize the prayers that our children offer, it may cause them to no longer develop this pattern of righteousness and their progress in the gospel could be stifled. Prayer is such a great pattern of righteousness!! 


SCRIPTURE STUDY
The second “pattern of righteousness” that I would like to discuss is scripture study. As you personally study the scriptures, you will come to know the Savior and His teachings. Consider how you as parents can share your understanding of the scriptures with your family during family study. 

Elder Richard G. Scott, in a General Conference Address in October 2011, said, “Scriptures are like packets of light that illuminate our minds and give place to guidance and inspiration from on high.” 

Proverbs 3: 5-6 says “Trust in the Lord with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding. In all thy ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy paths.” 

Doctrine and Covenants 11: 21 says: “Seek not to declare my word, but first seek to obtain my word, and then shall your tongue be loosed; then, if you desire, you shall have my Spirit and my word, yea, the power of God unto the convincing of men”. 

For this reason, we have found this to be a very important “pattern of righteousness” to instill in our children; a love of scripture study. We further invite them to memorize the Articles of Faith and Scripture Mastery scriptures as a crucial start to the building of a collection of the “packets of light” that Elder Scott spoke of in his talk. By having these pearls memorized, our children can refer and reflect upon them at various points in their lives without having the Standard Works right in front of them. 

LOVE & SERVICE:

The third “pattern of righteousness” is love and service. One thing that I hope that every one of my children understands is how much I love them. It is not a mistake that love and service is a “pattern of righteousness” that directly follows scripture study. Once we learn about the life and teachings of Jesus Christ, it is natural to want to learn how to love and serve the members of our families. 

For this reason, it is important for us as parents to teach our children that their actions are a manifestation of their knowledge and beliefs. As they learn to show their love for others, they can demonstrate that love through service. The Lord taught this principle to us throughout his daily life because he was constantly serving those that he loved… his brothers and sisters. 

 In our family, as you heard Jackson discuss in his talk, we have a family mantra: “BROTHERS FIRST!” It was important to us to them to learn to put the needs of their brothers BEFORE the needs and wants of their friends. To help reinforce this concept, we have implemented the use of Mason jars and fuzzy balls. Each time that Scott or I see the boys performing an act of service for a family member, they can earn a fuzzy ball that goes in the jar that is labeled with their name. When their jar is full, they earn a reward that they have previously selected. This jar is then emptied and the “pattern of righteousness” begins again. Some of the boys are better at this principle than others, and so they earn fuzzy balls faster. But everyone is afforded the same opportunity.

 TESTIMONY
The last “pattern of righteousness” that I would like to discuss is testimony. We are taught by the Apostle John in Revelations that our testimonies were one of two weapons that we used in the pre-existence to fend off Lucifer and his angels.

Revelations 12:11 says, “And they overcame him by the blood of the Lamb, and by the word of their testimony; and they loved not their lives unto the death.” 

 So we can see from this scripture that our testimonies were a vital resource to us in the War in Heaven. And I think that it is no different in the war that we wage in this life against Satan and his angels. Our children need to be given the opportunity to develop their testimonies and share them with us on a regular basis. 

In our family, the way that we do this is on Sundays. We hold mini Family Home Evenings. We set aside time after church in the evening to come together as a family to feel the spirit and to learn more about gospel principals. The children are asked to give mini-talks and bear their testimonies. They do not know the topics ahead of time, and when the time comes, I have little slips of paper that are cut up in a bowl. Each child comes forward and draws a slip of paper with a gospel topic written on it. They then go to the front and talk for 2-3 minutes about the topic that they have been given. At the end, they conclude by bearing their testimonies. The younger kids can singing a primary song by heart or recite an article of Faith. 

This practice in our family has not only allowed them to become more confident in presenting their ideas and knowledge about various gospel topics, but it has also helped their testimonies to grow. I know that this “pattern of righteousness” is one that will greatly serve them when they leave to serve as missionaries for the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints. 

Brothers and Sisters, it is my prayer that we can teach our children the importance of developing “patterns of righteousness” in their lives. I hope that you will go home and explore the specific patterns that you hope to teach your children. Realize that our Heavenly Father has promised us his blessings as we teach our children the Gospel of Jesus Christ. He will support us in our endeavors, but we must persevere despite the adversities that may arise in our parenting attempts. 

I would like to conclude by bearing my testimony. [BEARING OF TESTIMONY] 

In the name of Jesus Christ, Amen.

Planning and Setting Goals with Faith and Purpose

I had the opportunity to give the following talk today during Sacrament Meeting.  Just wanted to share it with all of you!!

Good afternoon, Brothers and Sisters. When people learn that I am the mother of 7 sons, I am constantly asked the following question “How do you get ANYTHING done during the day?”. And then once they get to know me and understand the many things that I try to accomplish on a daily basis, they then ask me “How do you get SO MUCH done in a day?”. Well, I am finally going to tell you my secret. I have found that the secret to getting the things done that we want out of life is not some magic energy drink. Instead the secret is in the wise counsel that we have received over the years from our Apostles and Prophets. It is to LIVE our lives with faith and purpose, and before we try to live our lives in this way, we need to PLAN our lives with faith and purpose. This is the focus of my talk today. How can we plan our lives with purpose in a way that allows us to act, rather than be acted upon? In other words, how can we not simply accept the life we are given, but instead, obtain a life that we have planned for with faith and purpose?

President Thomas S. Monson said the following during a 2005 BYU devotional address:     “Eternal life in the kingdom of our Father is [our] goal. Such a goal is not achieved in one glorious attempt but rather is the result of a lifetime of righteousness, an accumulation of wise choices, even a constancy of purpose.” [“Decisions Determine Destiny,” BYU devotional address, 6 November 2005]

So from President Monson's counsel we see that we must strive with a purpose, and work towards our goals with a “constancy of purpose”. That doesn't mean that we have to stick with one specific direction and not deter from it. That is not the constancy that he is speaking of. Instead, he is talking about the consistent grounding of our goals and “wise choices” within a purpose; whatever that purpose is.

One way that I have found substantial success in my personal goal setting is to follow the advice provided by Elder M. Russell Ballard in a conference talk that he gave in April, 1987. He said:    “First, think about your life and set your priorities. Find some quiet time regularly to think deeply about where you are going and what you will need to do to get there. Jesus, our exemplar, often ‘withdrew himself into the wilderness, and prayed’ (Luke 5:16). We need to do the same thing occasionally to rejuvenate ourselves spiritually as the Savior did. Write down the tasks you would like to accomplish each day. Keep foremost in mind the sacred covenants you have made with the Lord as you write down your daily schedules.    “Second, set short-term goals that you can reach. Set goals that are well balanced—not too many nor too few, and not too high nor too low. Write down your attainable goals and work on them according to their importance. Pray for divine guidance in your goal setting” [Conference Report, April 1987]

When January comes around each year, I think the mistake that we all too often make is in making goals that are going to last the ENTIRE year. What a monstrosity of a goal! We have just given ourselves 365 opportunities to fail at this monstrous goal. Instead, we can break these goals down into MONTHLY, WEEKLY and even DAILY goals. And the great thing about these shorter goals, is that they can change. We don’t have to be stuck on the same goal week after week, or month after month. If a goal was too hard, make it easier. If a goal is too easy, make it harder.

I especially like a comment made by Elder Marvin J. Ashton in a General Conference talk that he gave in October, 1983:
     “The direction in which we are moving is more important than where we are at the moment. Goal setting should cause us to stretch as we make our way” [Conference Report, Oct. 1983]

Some examples of MONTHLY goals that I have set:

• I read the entire Book of Mormon over a 30 day period
• I posted the reading schedule on my computer as the background image
• I put the audiobook version on my phone and kept the scriptures out on my nightstand
• I participated in a Green Smoothie challenge with some family and friends
• We posted our various recipes online to share with each other
• Instagram had recipes posted from others who were doing the same thing

Some examples of WEEKLY goals that I have set:

• I didn't drink any soda for a week
• I carried a water bottle everywhere that I went and even flavored it at times
• I made sure there wasn't’t any in the house to would tempt me
• I tried a new dinner recipe each night for a week
• I searched Pinterest and cookbooks for new ideas
• I asked friends and families ahead of time what their favorite recipes were

Some examples of DAILY goals that I have set:

• I wanted to be on time for each activity scheduled that day
• In the morning, I wrote out my “To-Do List” for the day with the specific times
• I would have items prepared and packed ahead of time, ready to go out the front door with me
• Spent 30 minutes each day in quiet meditation or time by myself
• I made a specific point of PLANNING this into my daily schedule
• I planned the time when the older boys or my husband were home and could attend to the kids

You might not realize it, but a “To-Do List” of items that need to be accomplished that day IS a set of goals. There have been days where I feel like I did not accomplish a single thing, but then I look back on my list of completed tasks and it gives me a different perspective and appreciation for the things I did accomplish.

Another way that I have found success in my personal goal setting is to follow Elder Robert D. Hales’ advice that he gave in a Conference Talk in October, 2001:    “Accomplish personal goals in each of four categories … : spiritual development; physical development; educational, personal, and career development; and citizenship and social development” [Conference Report, Oct. 2001]

I have simplified these four categories as: Spiritual goals, Physical goals, Mental goals and Social goals. These are the same four categories that President Ezra Taft Benson gave when he counseled the church in a First Presidency Message published in the October 1986 Ensign entitled “Do Not Despair”. See if you can hear these four areas mentioned, as well as some reinforcement to the principles that we have already discussed.    “Every accountable child of God needs to set goals, short- and long-range goals. A man who is pressing forward to accomplish worthy goals can soon put despondency under his feet, and once a goal is accomplished, others can be set up. Some will be continuing goals… This encompasses four main areas for goals: spiritual, mental, physical, and social. ‘Therefore, what manner of men ought ye to be?’ asked the Master, and he answered, ‘Verily I say unto you, even as I am.’ (3rd Nephi 27:27.) Now, there is a lifetime goal—to walk in his steps, to perfect ourselves in every virtue as he has done, to seek his face, and to work to make our calling and election sure” (“Do Not Despair,” Ensign, October 1986).

Some examples of PHYSICAL goals that I have set:

• I participated in a triathlon within 9 months after having a baby
• I signed up for it and committed friends to do it with me
• I scheduled workouts several times a week to prepare
• I certified as an aerobics instructor and specialized in spinning classes
• I signed up for an aerobics instructor course
• I attended as many aerobics classes as I could

Some examples of SPIRITUAL goals that I have set:

• I read the Relief Society lesson ahead of time each week
• I would read it the Sunday before and mark it up with a highlighter
• I would then ponder the lesson throughout the week
• I studied “Living Scripture” by marking it up with highlighters and a pencil
• I studied my patriarchal blessing 
• I also studied The Family: A Proclamation to the World and the Ensign magazines

Some examples of MENTAL goals that I have set:

• I read a new book each week for an entire year
• I used a website called GoodReads.com to track the books I read and the ones I wanted to read
• I would put audiobooks on my phone and listen to them as I drove around/attended my sons’ activities
• I attend Time Out for Women and BYU Education Week each year
• I love attending Time Out for Women each year in Salt Lake City
• I also set aside time each year to attend BYU Education week for the whole week

Some examples of SOCIAL goals that I have set:

• I take time each day to spend one on one with a different child
• I find things that each child likes to do and do it with them
• I make sure that this time is scheduled into the day’s busy activities so that we do it
• I go on a date night once a week with my husband
• Schedule it. Make sure that it happens. Doesn't always happen on a Friday night.
• And it doesn't always have to be a financial expense. There are plenty of free things that can be done.

To conclude, I want to share a scripture from the Book of Mormon. In his address to the people of Mosiah, King Benjamin gave them some very wise counsel found in Mosiah 4:27:     “And see that all these things are done in wisdom and order; for it is not requisite that a man should run faster than he has strength. And again, it is expedient that he should be diligent, that thereby he might win the prize; therefore, all things must be done in order”

I think that King Benjamin is giving us permission to slip up at times, and make mistakes in our goal setting. He tells us that we do not need to run faster than we have strength. So, if we mess up in our goal setting that day, this is a great opportunity for us to revisit our goals and make some changes. We shouldn't give up on a goal simply because we were not successful. Instead, we should change the goal to something that we can accomplish, and that still drives us in the direction of our ultimate goal. Besides, isn't this why we have the Atonement of Jesus Christ in our lives; to make up for our imperfections and give us the opportunity to begin each new day with a fresh start?

I ended by baring my testimony, and I will take the time to do it again. 

I know this church is true. I am thankful for the wise counsel of many apostles and prophets that have improved my life for the better. I know by setting short or long term goals they will help you be a better person. I am a better wife and mother because of it. I am thankful for a living prophet today that guides our church. I am thankful for each of my boys and my awesome husband. And I say these things in the name of Jesus Christ, Amen.

Time Out for Women Part 5

Saturday Morning....Marima Kallon



Mariama told a heart-wrenching true story of her childhood and faith. She has no clue what an inspiration she truly is to so many people around the world. I copied and pasted the paragraph below from her bio on the Time Out for Woman page.

Raised in war-torn Sierra Leone, Mariama Kallon saw many things as a young girl that might fill a person with fear and hatred. Soon after witnessing the violent murders of parents and siblings and spending her youth fleeing from rebels, she was introduced to the gospel of Jesus Christ and found hope in God and peace in a knowledge of eternal families. She was given a humanitarian kit by the Church, which became a treasured symbol of hope that she used to bless the lives of many as they again fled for their lives. After returning to her town, she was called on a mission to the Salt Lake City Temple Square Mission, and wept in gratitude to the Lord as she visited the place where her precious humanitarian kit was made. Today Mariama stands as an example of the divine purposes of humanitarian work and tells her story to numerous audiences, urging them to participate in this work.

Wow! She has so much faith and such a strong spirit. I am thankful for her story. It make the concept of the resurrection have more meaning. (Her brother and sister had their limbs cut off, in front of her) I am thankful for her strong and powerful message.

Time Out for Women Part 4

Friday Afternoon....Brad Wilcox

I truly love this man. I have known him for almost 20 years of my life. I have heard him speak a couple dozen times, and am thankful for each and every opportunity. He is a real inspiration and a wonderful teacher/speaker. He spoke on "Grace". He reviewed the entire 6th chapter of his new book, The Continuous Atonement. (Which I bought,and can't wait to read!!)

We are all saved by GRACE after ALL we can do! 2 Nephi 25:23

Grace is a constant energy source. God and I both know it's not my all or best, but He still loves us no matter what.

We need to be more gentle with ourselves. God is more concerned with our knowledge and love for Him and His Son and not our accomplishments.
You are nothing, powerless without him. Brad talked bout wanting to make the theme for the next EFY to be "You are Nothing"! Funny, but so true.
He told a heart-felt story of a young mother whom went through many trials in her young life and when asked something on the lines of "In your deepest sorrow did you feel that the Savior left you?" Her humble, sweet reply was (and I'm paraphrasing here...)
There were never 2 sets footprints in the sand. Only one. He never left me.  
We need to continue to follow the teachings, "After all we can do" faithfully and continually.
We should NOT be called Human BEINGS. Rather Human DOINGS. We need to DO. To act. To become.
After all we can do. Means me and God. Together.
Jesus doesn't make up the difference for us. He makes the difference. (Love that, so profound!)
Don't try an earn your way to heaven, Prepare for it. Jesus paid our debt in full.
It is by Grace that all things are possible, but we must also be transformed by grace.

During lunch and the breaks he would walk around hugging, shaking hands, signing autographs and posing for pictures with the women. Bobbi and I walked up and he gave us his undivided attention and we spoke about his talk, the gospel, and the savior. What a wonderful few moments it was with him. Thank you Brad for you kind words and love.

Time Out for Women Part 3

Saturday started bright and early. We met at the convention center at 8:15am so we could get better seats than Fridays night. The conference didn't officially start until 9am, but 3,000 other woman had the same idea as us! (We did find some pretty good seats in the middle section!)

Saturday morning...Linda Eyre and her daughter Shawni Pothier

The mother and daughter duo spoke together about Motherhood. They offered 5 "helps" to be a better mother.

#1 Be your own best kind of mom! Everyone comes form different packages, different husbands, and different circumstances.

#2 Infrastructure. Have a family mission statement and/or motto a theme for your family. Something that your family puts together. (Shawni's family is "Learn, Work, Service, Respect". (My family's motto is "All for one, and one for all!" We also have a saying for the boys, "Brothers First") Hold Family Home Evenings and family meeting often and regularly.

#3 Give your children ownership. Have your kids make their own goals they want to achieve. They talked about the "Repenting Bench" which was so cleaver! (I've already used this form of ownership a few times already!!) When the kid are arguing or get mad at one another they have to sit on the "Repenting Bench" until they can say what THEY did wrong. (we used the stairs in our home)For example, we were listening to music in the kitchen the other day when Jackson and Tyler started arguing about it and I had them sit on the stairs and tell me what THEY did wrong in that situation. They both tried to state what the other brother had done first. I would interrupt him and have him start over by stating only what he did wrong. It was pretty cool!

#4 Family traditions. Hold family testimony meetings on Sunday after Fast Sunday. (Make sure they tell how they FELL about Jesus in their testimony. They have a picture of the Savior in every room. (I would add a picture of the family, or brothers in every room as well...)

#5 Teaching your children to work. (Scott and I totally believe in this as well!!) They offered some cleaver ideas how to contract out jobs by the children bidding on them or after you've taught a child a certain chore ie scrubbing the toilet they can then teach a younger sibling to do it and receive a special certificate by doing so.
**Keys for good work:
Print out (List or bubble system)
Patience
Persistence

Cherish those small moments, the moments that make up the tapestry of life.

valuesparenting.com
71toes.blogspot.com
http://powerofmoms.com/

Time Out for Women Part 2

Friday Night...Heidi Swinton

She is the author of the new AMAZING book, To The Rescue. A biography about our dear, beloved prophet. Se was an incredible speaker. Her entire talk was solely in regards to President Monson. She spoke about his childhood and referred to him as Tommy. As she retold stories about his teenage years she referred to him at Tom. I will share just a couple of the stories that jumped out at me.

The primary president was in tears one Sunday afternoon right after church was released. Tommy went to her side and asked what was wrong and what he could do to help her out, if anything. She began to express her sadness that the children in primary were too talkative, disruptive, wouldn't listen to the lessons or sing and would get out of their seats too often. She asked him if he would help her and do the opposite of what she had just talked to him about. He promised, with a sincere hug. And she never had a problem in primary again! HA! It was HIM that was the little turkey!

President Monson became Bishop, at the age of 22, in his home ward. That is a feat in itself!

President Monson was over the Iron Curtain area as a General Authority. He worked extremely hard in those rough areas for over 20 years. He single handedly helped aid in the opportunity for missionaries to serve in those areas. AND have members from the Iron Curtain area to leave to serve missions.

In President Monson's journals, he has written in over 20 huge books. Sister Swinton was surprised over and over as she read from those novel journals. She was expecting writings about serving as a bishop, Stake President, Quorum of the 12...But he wrote very little in regards to his service. 90% of his journals were about people. What his brothers and sisters taught him and hoe touched he was when he interacted with so many from all over the world.

Of course there was much, much more. She is a sweet, smart, humble sister. I appreciate her candor and honesty as she spoke to us.


I am so thankful to know a little bit more about President Tomas S. Monson. What a blessing he is in my life and how thankful I am to have him as my latter-day prophet!

Time Out for Women

I had the WONDERFUL opportunity to attend Time Out for Women with some WONDERFUL friends from Santa Barbara. I was invited last minute and I am so glad I had the chance to go. It was fun hanging out and chatting with some dear friends of mine. The speakers were incredible. On Friday night was the kick-off and there were 2 speakers and a singer/performer. On Saturday the inspiration continued and I heard 4 other speakers and another musician perform. There were 3,990 women in attendance! I am going to write up a different post about each speaker and their powerful message, and my perception of it.

Friday Night....Sister Virginia Pierce

How to have a "Successful" life

Do YOU see things/people/events like Heavenly Father sees them?
Being patient and diligent= Successful
Life.

Get out of the business of competition, and focus on what's eternally important. Each person on earth has been blessed with a mission, a gift, talents and things to offer the world.
Comparison is the fast track to misery. Who cares if she/he is better at singing/drawing/football....Someone will always be better and someone will always not be as good at something. Someone will always be fatter than you, and skinnier than you.
MAYBE he/she is doing EXACTLY what our Father in Heaven has planned for them.

Make sure to properly measure your success. Cannot be measured by others actions. For example...You do all you can, as a mother, to help you child to be smart, play a sport or musical instrument and have a testimony of the gospel. But, at the end of they day it's THEIR life and THEIR decisions. If you do all you can and your child receives an "F", it's not a failure on you.

YOU are responsible for YOUR own success in life. Outward results of YOUR actions. Continue to LOVE regardless of what they do.
We need to continually help to build up the church. BUT it's NOT measured in the amount of hours. It's what each of us can do.
We need to continually RECOGNIZE, RELIE, and ACT on the prompting of the Holy Spirit. Personal Guidance from the Holy Ghost is having a Successful Life. THAT is the single most important skill we can obtain here on earth.
Don't know how? PRACTICE! It is a gift open to ALL of us. We're better at it than we think!
To trust Christ and use His atonement to be more like Him is a successful life. Will you be successful because of Him?? OF COURSE! That's the gift He's offered you (and me!!)

She was wonderful!!