Wednesday, January 26, 2011

Is Six Enough??

We are trying to decide if we're having more children or not. If you or anyone asks me, "Do you want more?" My answer is always YES!! Do I want more children, heck yeah! Will it actually happen? Hmmm, maybe. I keep going back and forth.

My baby is moving into a toddler and I feel like I have a life (now, don't get me wrong, I DO HAVE A LIFE!!! I LOVE MY LIFE!! but, I can workout whenever I want, run a errand, go on a trip...) I am usually nursing or pregnant. Pregnant or nursing for the past 12 years. So this feels good. But I also feel a little selfish. I want more children. I love being pregnant, I LOVE newborns. I am great with newborns! Do you see my dilemma?

If I couldn't have more, of course I'd be sad, but I do have SIX little blessings in my life. I am one lucky lady that's for sure.

I wasn't planning on sharing this, but all of a sudden I feel moved to do so. I was recently pregnant with my 7th child. What a wonderful feeling it was. I was 3 months and 2 days along and had a miscarriage. 4 days before Christmas. Sad. I am completely at peace with it now, but it has made this change in my life and goals for the new year. (wanting to workout, travel, explore and learn more) I still get those emails that say "Congrats you are 16 weeks pregnant...." I just delete them. I really need to open them up and update my profile.

Anyways, I am fine about it all. Really. I am focusing on the future and it looks GOOD! I just can't tell if there are more little Scott's (and maybe little Lori's) out there...Only time will tell!


Crazymamaof6 said...

It's hard. If you are gonna I say do it sooner than later.
But a nice even 6 was so nice. I was getting some serious freedom. Gone back to school. No kids in diapers. Free. And wham! Surprise! Not that i'm sad but it would have been easier 3 or 4 years ago instead of now. I might have had something left instead of no maternity wear. No swing. No carseat. No crib. And then do you stay uneven or go for # 8? I want even #s. But the hubs is so done. As hard as this one has been to be prego with I'd do it again to even it up here. And I'd love to end with a girl.

My opinion? Never say never.

Crazymamaof6 said...

But i'll let ya know how 7 goes for me. Really after 5 what's one more?

Josh & Elise said...

So sorry to hear about miscarriage. Your a great mama to your boys and im sure you will be inspired to know the right thing for your family. Love u lady!

Ali said...

I am really so, so sorry to hear about your loss. There is nothing in the world quite like heartbreak. Knowing you can't physically have any more doesn't make the end any easier though...all it makes it feel like is as though you didn't get a choice. Generally, if you can't have more, as is the case for us, you really do want a bigger family and are painfully cut off early. I guess just having a choice (as hard as the choice might be) seems like a blessing sometimes.

I don't presume to know what in the world would be best for you so I wouldn't even begin to offer advise (nor did you really ask) but I can tell that whatever you do will be given a ton of thought and prayer and will absolutely do what's right for your family. 6 lovely boys and maybe/maybe not more? Who could really ask for anything more wonderful.



Summer Spillane Jordan said...

you're a great mamma! i'm sorry to hear about the sadness you were experiencing during the holidays! you sure didn't show it! it's the same thing jace and i dealt with back in az...we were pretty sure we were finished with 5, but then we learned i wouldnt' be able to have more and it made me want more...then we were blessed with haven and i got to soak up every moment of him and i felt like it was a bonus blessing from HIM. but THEN i knew for sure i was finished! you just have to take it all to HIM and you'll know that it's in HIS hands, and whatever happen will give you peace. it's tricky but it's the only way! we love you guys!

peachytiffers said...

I'm a bad friend, I should have posted on this when I first read it but I didn't. You have been in my prayers and thoughts though. You and Scott will know what is best for your sweet little family. I don't know what to tell you because I personally feel like I really am supposed to have girls and that freaks Jake out to think that I would keep going. You just can't control things like that though. At least not yet. :)