Monday, May 31, 2010

What's in a name?

Ok, so most of you already know my last name is Nielsen. If you call me Thompson, I'll respond, but if you ask me, I always say Nielsen. Here is why...My mom, brother and I are the LAST NIELSEN's in our family line. My gram and grandpa had 4 girls, all of which changed their names when they got married. Except, my mom who never married. (Well, she did but that's another story...) Thompson is a good name, great actually. Nothing wrong with it, I just chose not to change right when I got married to Scott. But always said I would later on. And by the way, he doesn't really care what my last name is and would be fine either way. I know deep down he'd prefer that I change my name, but has never asked me to do it. I sure love that man! Anyways, when we first moved to Arizona I thought then would be a good time to change my name, if that's what I wanted to do. I waited, and waited and chose to keep Nielsen. Now, I have another opportunity with our big family move to Utah. Should I change my name or not? I still go back and forth and right when I think I have decided, I changed my mind yet again.
I love the name Nielsen. It's who I am, it's my heritage. But, the responsibility should lie with my older brother William. You would think. Not sure he's ever going to get married though. It's so hard to date while you're in and out of prison! :)
It has been a little awkward having a different name though. Teachers have thought I was a step mom or me and Scott aren't married..I do NOT like that at all. My boys don't ask why my last name is different, they just know my name is Lori Anne Nielsen. I have told them that when people get married the woman usually and should change her name to the last name of her new husbands.

So, what do YOU think I should do??? Thoughts? Suggestions?

13 Comments:

Summer Spillane Jordan said...

hmmm...i think that as long as you pass your awesome heritage onto your boys by loving them and teaching them, though the name nielson won't be on paper, they'll always carry that name with them and know from where you come! tough call...i say change it...and of course with all the love for your mom that you can't help but have because of knowing you!

Lori Belle said...

True Summer! I was talking to my boys about it last night and they all said they wanted me to change it so we have the same name. How can I go against that?

our cute puppies said...
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Brimhall Bunch said...

I totally agree with Summer and the boys AND when you die the name ends anyways, right? So I say change it and make all 7 of your boys happy!

Corinna said...

i would go with changing it. my opinion is our maiden names are to be changed when we marry. even if it is the last in the line of the name.
have you used it as a middle name for one of the boys? or even a first name of the next one???

or do what i did when i married, change your name and get a tattoo to represent your old name! LOL!

~P said...

It seems like if you changed your name right now, you would not be completely satisfied with it. It seems like it would be something in the back of your mind that would always bug you. I think you should only change your name when it really, totally, and completely feels right to you. Not because you should, not because you have to explain yourself, but because it feels right, good, and in line with what you and Scott believe.

Love,
Phaedra

Hopeful Surrogate said...
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Deirdre said...

Had you considered hyphenating your last name or using it as an extension of your middle name- Lori Anne Nielsen Thompson?
I've been a Jones for so long that now that we're talking about getting married I'd have a hard time giving up Jones. My daughter has a different last name anyway so that's not an issue. Plus, Smith is just a common as Jones! ;)
It just seems that you're pretty attached to Nielsen and like Phaedra said you may not be happy with it in the long run. I guess if you added Thompson to the end you'd still have the best of both worlds. There's my two cents! :)

Michelle said...

I don't have any suggestions but I will tell you that I was really confused for awhile. I thought Mark had a friend named Lori Thompson and a friend named Lori Nielson. I think I just barely figured out you were the same person last year!

Becca said...

I struggled with this befor I got married. Dean does not even know I debated with myself over it. But it is my personal opinion that with geneology your name will not die with you or if you choose to change it. I believe that what matters is that Heavenly Father knows.Although I do have to admit going to Uthat just to avoid ALL the Drama I would seriously consider changing it.

NIKOL said...

If it wasn't that important to change it when you first got married, then I don't see why it's important now. If you like your name as-is, then leave it. I don't think there's really a "should" in this equation. It's all just a matter of personal choice and opinion, really.

Deanna said...

I say change it...when I got divorced I had the option of changing my name back to my maiden name but chose to keep my married name only because of my son. As a teacher you always do wonder about some of these families. I'm not married to a Semendoff anymore but it is a bond between my son and I and shows we are a family.

rachel said...

It's hard. There is a lot behind your original decision. I would go with the boys vote though. There's something about taking on the different name that was hard for me too. There's a lot of things that I had going for me as a Taylor. I decided to name my little girl that to pass it on but who knows if that will ever happen:)If you do it I know that Scott will see it as a sincere and sweet sacrifice, because he knows what your name means to you. I also think that you should do something really special to celebrate it. I think Scott has been a great example to the boys of respecting your feelings about your name and that they will hopefully carry that level of respect into their marriages. You guys are great!